Showing posts from 2008

2008: Goodbye and good riddance.

Oh, 2008: you really crept up and bit me in the ass there at the end, didn't you?

The year started out okay: in January, my book did well in that Amazon competition. And then it was pretty much all downhill from there. My company was bought out and my job was eliminated. I couldn't get an agent for the book for love or money or sweat or tears. I couldn't find work. I resurrected all my film-school demons. I had far too many projects and possibilities fall through. And then, devastatingly, my mom died.

So, 2009, I'm pinning all my hopes on you. Here's to good friends and good fortune for all in a bold new year.

Because I'm currently bankrupt for ideas for original content, I'm going to end the year with another look at some of the keywords used to find this site. Here we go:

are seaquest and farscape the same universe
No, but that's not as preposterous an idea as it would first appear. The same thought flickered through my head while I was watching

"Earth, receive an honoured guest"

Verna Ellen Richter
January 10th, 1945 - December 19th, 2008

I love you, mom.


Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Thirteen: Dual

The final episode of Volume Three opens with that rarest of rarities: a Sylar monologue, in which he babbles on about cosmic jokes and the “dark proof of God’s absence.” Sheesh. Merry Christmas to you, too, Sylar.

After his brief flirtation with soul-searching and introspection, Sylar seems to have decided heroism is for losers. He storms the Primatech building and locks Claire, Angela, Bennet, and Meredith inside. While Angela and Claire hide out in Angela’s office, Meredith and Bennet head down to Level Five and release all the prisoners to use them as bait to trap Sylar. When Sylar attacks Meredith, puppet master Eric Doyle comes to her rescue. Sylar knocks Doyle out and stabs Meredith with a syringe full of adrenaline, which makes her abilities malfunction. He locks Bennet and Meredith in a cell together and scampers off to cause more mischief.

When Angela and a shotgun-toting Claire try to rescue Meredith and Bennet, Sylar attacks them and absconds with Angela. Claire se…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Twelve: Our Father

Arthur calls Sylar to nag him into completing his mission to capture Claire. Sylar, however, is in the middle of dumping lighter fluid on Elle’s corpse, and thus is in no mood for a guilt trip from his fake dad. While Elle goes up in flames, Sylar looks sort of wistful and melancholy about murdering his girlfriend, but it’s hard to be certain what’s in his head these days; it’s equally possible he’s just thinking about how he’d really like a slice of pie. Sylar then targets some poor office drone named Sue, who has the ability to act as a human lie detector, and lops off the top of her head. He seems positively orgasmic about this. Just for laughs, he gleefully murders a bunch of her coworkers, too. Wow, that’s a really evil thing to do. Nothing nice about that. It seems pretty clear he’s evil again. Evil, evil, evil. At least until next episode.

Nathan drops by Arthur’s office and tells him he’s decided to take over Pinehearst. Arthur gets a good chuckle at this, but agrees…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Eleven: The Eclipse, Part Two

The eclipse continues. And continues, and continues, and continues…

In Haiti, Baron Samedi chains Nathan up in a cell along with a couple of scantily-clad women. Samedi, who has impenetrable skin on eclipse-free days, mistreats the women and strokes his chin in a sinister way. This eliminates any lingering doubt about his status as a villain. Peter and the Haitian rescue Nathan and the women, but Peter stays behind to hold off Samedi’s heavily-armed forces.

Los Angeles: Sylar is strangely chipper about his lack of powers. He tells Elle being powerless will give them a chance to start a fresh new life together. Great. The Sylar and Elle relationship is back to being sort of barfy. Despite having a sniper rifle trained on the lovebirds at the end of last episode, Mr. Bennet still hasn’t gotten around to shooting them. Instead, he waits until they drop out of his line of sight and start having sex on the floor before he opens fire. Elle gets nicked in the leg, and she and Sylar r…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Ten: The Eclipse, Part One

As an eclipse looms, Arthur Petrelli sketches prophetic doodles of doom. He orders nauseating lovebirds Sylar and Elle to find Claire so Mohinder can use her as the catalyst in his formula. Meanwhile, Mohinder conducts an autopsy on the test subject he snuffed last episode. Mohinder’s own transformation is accelerating--he’s developed a hacking cough, and the scaly crud has spread over his hands and face--which spooks him deeply.

At Primatech, Angela Petrelli gathers her forces together. She sends Nathan and Peter to retrieve the Haitian, then assigns Bennet the task of protecting Claire from Arthur. Bennet takes Claire to Bubbles’s old house to give her a crash course in self-defense, which entails calling her a spoiled brat and goading her to hit him with a floorboard. Which Claire does, repeatedly and with much gusto.

Sylar and Elle, in pursuit of Claire, try to rent a car in Los Angeles. Elle, who is back to her usual gleefully bonkers self after two episodes of baffling a…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Nine: It's Coming

The buzzword for this episode: eclipse! It opens with a big, portentous Mohinderlogue about how eclipses are way cool. Mohinder is a little too impressed with eclipses.

In Africa, Arthur puts the whammy on Hiro (while Usutu’s decapitated head lies nearby--nice touch!), but gets distracted by one of Usutu’s prophetic paintings of an eclipse (buzzword!) before he can finish him off. Ando tries to get Hiro to teleport them to safety, but Hiro’s brain has been turned to pudding and he now thinks he’s ten years old. Ando guides him through the teleportation process, and they end up in a bowling alley/waffle-and-chicken restaurant in Tokyo. Let the wacky hijinks ensue!

Arthur teleports back to Pinehearst (hey, Arthur can teleport?), where Sylar glowers and broods. Arthur knows Sylar saved Peter from the fall out the window. This evidence of Sylar’s soft, mushy side is disappointing, though I take heart from the knowledge he was the one who defenestrated Peter in the first place. Art…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Eight: Villains

It’s that time again. You know how every season Heroes whips together a flashback episode that takes another look at past events and tries to explain them in new and nonsensical ways? That’s what we get this week. Alas, unlike past seasons, this particular flashback episode is sort of crappy. I suppose this was inevitable: the season’s been firing on all cylinders thus far, so it was past due for a clunker. On the plus side, this episode marks the debut of a snazzy new “Villains” logo to replace the usual “Heroes” title card. It’s not much, but I’m trying to look on the bright side.

The episode kicks off with a rambling Mohinderlogue about the nature of good and evil. Hiro, in Africa with Ando and Usutu, takes a drug-induced spirit walk back in time to New York eighteen months ago, back when Peter was a sweet-natured nurse and still had those attractive floppy bangs. Angela and Arthur Petrelli throw a swanky bash to celebrate Nathan’s promotion to assistant district attorney. …

Merry Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone! Sadly, I have no hot plans for tonight, other than celebrating my cat’s birthday with a cake lovingly made from all her favorite foodstuffs: tuna, peppermint tea bags, squashed bugs, and used Q-tips. This is a crying shame, because I’ve been looking for an excuse to dress up like Jem, spiky pink hair and all (for those too young to appreciate the reference, Jem was the Hannah Montana of the eighties, except Jem utilized cutting-edge hologram technology to transform from her drab alter ego into a glamorous rock star, whereas Hannah just tosses on a blonde wig. Advantage: Jem).

Hey, I just took a look at my website statistics, and it looks like my Heroes recaps have picked up a healthy bunch of weekly lurkers. This is great, though please know you’re also welcome to join in on the comment-thread madness following the recaps. The comments (much like the recaps) tend to be a free-form amalgam of genial snark and half-baked analysis; the more, the merrier.


Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Seven: Eris Quod Sum

Mohinder faces off against Tracy and Nathan. Using his bug-man super-powers, he rips Maya out of her cocoon and leaps up through the skylights (Mohinder’s lab has skylights?). He takes Maya to Pinehearst and meets Arthur Petrelli. Arthur steals the Black Eye Goo of Death power from Maya and cures her, then puts Mohinder to work perfecting Pinehearst’s version of the power-giving formula. When Mohinder confronts Maya later, she’s monstrously peeved at him for turning evil and sticking her in a cocoon. Equipped with cash, a wheelie suitcase, and a shiny new American passport, she storms out of his life. Vaya con Dios, Maya! May you find happiness and a decent character arc elsewhere, because you sure weren’t finding either here.

When Claire and Sandra return home from tangling with Doyle, they discover their lights on the fritz, Lyle unconscious, and crazy Elle hanging out in their living room. A super-powered catfight between Elle and Claire ensues. Lyle takes a baby step toward…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Six: Dying of the Light

So it turns out Hiro really didn’t kill Ando. Yeah, see, he didn’t really slaughter his best friend in cold blood without provocation. It was all a trick to get in good with Daphne and Knox. Boy, I bet nobody saw that coming. Yeah, instead he stopped time, teleported to a magic shop, picked up a collapsible sword and some fake blood, then traveled back in time and explained the plan to Ando, who then played along and only pretended to die. Convinced of Hiro’s loyalty, Knox leaves with Adam, while Daphne gives Hiro an assignment to go to Africa to retrieve Usutu for Pinehearst.

Knox takes Adam to the Pinehearst facility to see the hospitalized Arthur Petrelli. Arthur sucks out Adam’s power of immortality, and Adam disintegrates into a crumbling pile of dust. So long, Adam Monroe! Kind of weird how they dug you up from your grave just so you could be killed off for good two episodes later, but heck, you’ll probably pop up again at some point, given the amazing rate at which chara…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Five: Angels and Monsters

Let’s start with Peter, who, back on Level Five, is still completely nuts from absorbing Sylar’s intuitive ability. He attacks Sylar and breaks his neck. When Angela tries to stop him, he accuses her of withholding secrets and tries to slice open her head. Sylar comes back to life and knocks him out. Bennet arrives and tells Sylar he has a lead on another of the Level Five escapees. They take off in hot pursuit.

Inside a building labeled “Pinehearst”, Linderman asks Daphne how she feels about recruiting super-powered individuals to form a New World Order. He gives her some files on her potential targets, who include Knox and Mohinder. Daphne agrees to help, though she dismisses them as “pretty nasty people”. Now you’ve done it, Mohinder: your icky genetic experiments have been off-putting enough to make adorable blonde girls lump you in the “pretty nasty people” category.

In Costa Verde, Sandra Bennet finally figures out: a) there’s no cheerleading retreat, and b) her daughter …

Heroes Volume Three Chapter Four: I Am Become Death

Mohinder continues his research into his new abilities. The peeling scaly crap on his back worsens, so he stops wandering around shirtless. Pity. He investigates a violent argument in a neighboring apartment, where he suspects his neighbor is beating his wife. When Mohinder intervenes, his neighbor hurls racially-charged insults and tells him to mind his own business. Mohinder, using his new super-powers, beats the tar out of him.

Later, Maya drops by his lab and wants to get frisky. Mohinder, whose super-powered libido abandoned him around the time he started growing scales, gets bitchy and snappish, so she leaves in a huff. Mohinder makes an entry in his journal about his transformation, which includes this phrase: “The rash is spreading.”

I could have lived a long and happy life without ever hearing Mohinder say, “The rash is spreading.”

Mohinder can’t reverse the process that gave him abilities, and he’s developing sticky webs on his fingers. Plus, he’s turning mean and sc…

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Three: One of Us, One of Them

Another fast-paced corker of an episode kicks off in the Level Five prison facility, where Angela Petrelli tells Sylar she’s going to take good care of him from now on. She strokes his face and nuzzles him in a most inappropriate manner, which might the creepiest thing she’s done to date, seeing as: a) he’s her son, and b) he’s Sylar. Angela releases Sylar’s restraints and sends in Bridget, a young woman with the ability to see the history of any object she touches, for the purpose of “feeding” him. Angela strolls out of the cell as Bridget screams in terror. Remember back in Season One when Angela’s villainy was confined to shoplifting socks and maybe implying to Peter that Nathan secretly didn’t love him? You’ve come a long way, baby.

Peter, trapped in Jesse’s body, goes along with the band of rape-happy, kill-happy, super-powered escaped criminals as they knock over a bank. For such a basically decent and guileless fellow, Peter sure involves himself in a surprising number of …

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Two: The Butterfly Effect

Angela Petrelli has a creepy precognitive dream in which a band of villains, including Adam Monroe, Maury Parkman, Niki/Jessica/Tracy, and Sylar, slaughter Hiro, Matt, Peter and Claire. She visits Evil Alternate Future Peter, who has set himself up in a lair covered with infinite paths of string representing different timelines, much like Evil Alternate Future Hiro’s lair in the first-season episode “Five Years Gone”. Angela warns him her dream means he’s already messed up the future.

Maya goes to Mohinder’s lab. Hey, you know what would be awesome? If Mohinder’s plotline could be expanded to encompass more characters than just Maya, that’s what. She finds him shirtless and dangling from the rafters, the serum having given him the ability to crawl up walls. It’s also made him super-strong, super-speedy, super-agile, and super-horny. He smooches Maya, whips her shirt off, and rolls around on the lab table with her. Later, he wakes up, post-coital, and discovers he’s experiencing …