Showing posts from September, 2008

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Three: One of Us, One of Them

Another fast-paced corker of an episode kicks off in the Level Five prison facility, where Angela Petrelli tells Sylar she’s going to take good care of him from now on. She strokes his face and nuzzles him in a most inappropriate manner, which might the creepiest thing she’s done to date, seeing as: a) he’s her son, and b) he’s Sylar. Angela releases Sylar’s restraints and sends in Bridget, a young woman with the ability to see the history of any object she touches, for the purpose of “feeding” him. Angela strolls out of the cell as Bridget screams in terror. Remember back in Season One when Angela’s villainy was confined to shoplifting socks and maybe implying to Peter that Nathan secretly didn’t love him? You’ve come a long way, baby.

Peter, trapped in Jesse’s body, goes along with the band of rape-happy, kill-happy, super-powered escaped criminals as they knock over a bank. For such a basically decent and guileless fellow, Peter sure involves himself in a surprising number of …

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter Two: The Butterfly Effect

Angela Petrelli has a creepy precognitive dream in which a band of villains, including Adam Monroe, Maury Parkman, Niki/Jessica/Tracy, and Sylar, slaughter Hiro, Matt, Peter and Claire. She visits Evil Alternate Future Peter, who has set himself up in a lair covered with infinite paths of string representing different timelines, much like Evil Alternate Future Hiro’s lair in the first-season episode “Five Years Gone”. Angela warns him her dream means he’s already messed up the future.

Maya goes to Mohinder’s lab. Hey, you know what would be awesome? If Mohinder’s plotline could be expanded to encompass more characters than just Maya, that’s what. She finds him shirtless and dangling from the rafters, the serum having given him the ability to crawl up walls. It’s also made him super-strong, super-speedy, super-agile, and super-horny. He smooches Maya, whips her shirt off, and rolls around on the lab table with her. Later, he wakes up, post-coital, and discovers he’s experiencing …

Heroes Volume Three, Chapter One: The Second Coming

After a ten-month hiatus, Heroes is back in fine form with a double helping of zest, aplomb, and cheerful nitwittery. Let’s get to it: we open in Manhattan, four years in the future. Evil Alternate Future Peter (the one with the honking scar across his face) tells a gun-toting Evil Alternate Future Claire he’s going back in time to change the past and thus prevent a grim future. EAF Claire shoots him. EAF Peter stops time, steals EAF Claire’s gun, and teleports to present-day Odessa, Texas, where Nathan is in the middle of The Worst Speech in This or Any Other Universe from last season’s finale. EAF Peter shoots Nathan, thus bringing the speech to a merciful close.

In Costa Verde, Claire sees the news announcement about the attack on Nathan. She calls Peter, who is in the ambulance with a critically-wounded Nathan. Peter tells her to stay put. Nathan dies on the operating table but, in grand Heroes tradition, magically returns to life.

While investigating Nathan’s shooting, Mat…

Self-amusement as an art form:

A couple months back, I salvaged a basic coffee table my neighbors were throwing out. It was made of cheap, heavy pressboard covered in formica, with no interesting architectural details, but it was in decent shape. I already have a perfectly splendid coffee table, one which Boy-Morgan daringly rescued for me off of a construction site scrap heap during a recent visit and which I sanded and stained and varnished until it looked fresh and new.

Still, I thought there was probably something interesting which could be done with this other table.

Last night, I coated it in black acrylic paint. Then I decoupaged the top with a mixture of school glue, water, and twenty-one form rejection letters for Charlotte Dent that I've received from literary agents.

I coated the letters in varnish mixed with a drop of brown paint to bring the glaring whiteness down a notch. The effect isn't noticeable in these lousy photos (I'm still using the $20 Walgreens digital camera, and it's a…

Chickenjoy and Yumburgers

I walked to Glendale today. Somewhere in Atwater Village, as I was hoofing it along Los Feliz Boulevard, this Heroes-decorated bus whizzed past me. Notice the prominent image of Maya, whose solo character poster is still nowhere to be found on bus shelters anywhere in Los Angeles. Damn it, I feel like she's taunting me. If she's emblazoned across the side of a bus, she's got to be on a bus poster somewhere in the city. Right?

Some have theorized that Maya's poster isn't at any of the bus stops because she's not an especially popular character. Working on that theory, based upon the general number of posters I've seen throughout L.A., the most popular character on Heroes is... Ando. I've seen more Ando posters than anyone else, though he's followed closely by Mohinder. Least popular posters, apart from Maya: Peter, Hiro, and Matt.

Yeah. That popularity theory kinda breaks down under scrutiny, doesn't it?

Kind of a sucky walk, actually. I ha…

Burbank Bounty: Matt Parkman

My suspicions yesterday were correct: Burbank is a hotbed of Heroes posters. I found this one of Matt on Alameda, just east of NBC.

Sure enough, in the blocks around NBC, Heroes has a stranglehold on the bus shelters, often with two back-to-back posters at a single bus stop.

I could have spared myself yesterday's walk, because I saw probably close to ten Sylars today, including this one back-to-back with Mohinder (to take this, I had to stand in the middle of Magnolia with traffic bearing down on me. Hence the half-assed framing).

I saw every single character poster in Burbank today, most multiple times.

Well, almost.

You know who I didn't see? Maya.

Does a Maya poster exist? I've been proceeding on faith that one does, just because it would be odd to give the other eleven regular third-season cast members their own individual posters and skip over poor Maya, but there's been no trace of her.

And this is especially vexing: some rat bastard (rat bastards, plural, most …

At long last: Sylar

Epic Heroes Poster Quest Update: I found Sylar today, along Third just east of the Grove. Finally.

I have no excuse for not finding this one earlier. I spend a great deal of time at the Grove in any given week. I was there Tuesday night, in fact, following a fruitless day of poster-hunting, dining with a friend at the Whisper Lounge (we split the tuna tartare, a shrimp cocktail, and an awesome hummus platter. I like food) before watching Hamlet 2 (thumbs up: "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus" is worth the hype). We drove right past the poster. Would've been swell if I'd spotted Sylar then.

Yup, the photo's crap, isn't it? I took about eight pictures, and this was the best of a crummy lot. High noon on a cloud-free summer day in Los Angeles, with the midday sun reflecting off of glass... yeah, it's not good. Apologies. And yes, once again, you can see my phantom reflection in the photo.

(Still, it's all relative--if you think that phantom image is bad, ch…